YOU DECIDE
Dilemma:
Kitty asserts that it would be best for us to go on our honeymoon before school starts again in September, although we believe that September may be the time to go due to lower rates of motels, etc. (we're thinking we'd like to drive to the south west). We have stated that Kitty would prefer our absence to be in August due to the nature of a "free-house" for her friends to hang-out in and go about their teenage merriment unfettered by adult supervision before they return to school in September. Kitty says rather innocently she would just like having the house to herself, stating that, "it's fun, it's like being an adult ... you make your own dinner, you clean up, you cook eggs ...."
Several solutions were voiced:
1) we cancel the wedding celebration, go to the JP, and save all the money spent on a celebration for a trip in the costly month of August (Kitty seemed to think this would suit her well)
2) We bite the bullet and go into debt for a trip in August so Kitty can party her heart out before she and all her friends have to return to school in September
3) Kitty works full-time all Summer to aquire the monetary difference between honeymooning in August compared to September, gives us the money-difference to basically rent a party-house while we're gone,
4) We go in August, but Aunt Mary comes down to stay while we're gone, or
5) we go in September, disregarding Kitty's request for Summer party-time house.
We would appreciate some advice and comments. Thank you ....
posted by Brent Sigmeth at 5/08/2005 10:43:00 PM
29 Comments:
Uh... I'll take... number 5, Bob?
DING-DING-DING-DING-DING
You are correct, SIr! (Sorry, Kitty.)
The last time we left our son unattended at home while we vacationed, we came home to find all the beer and our vodka were gone. Otherwise, the house was undamaged (if a bit dirty). And it was during the school year (spring), so don't assume that's a guarantee of safety on this issue. Another time we were gone, he and a friend attempted to steal a keg from a truck at the nearby beer distributer's facility, presumably for a party at our house.
D & I generally think of our son as a good kid. But teenagers will be teenagers. (Again, sorry, Kitty.)
Personally, I LOVE road trips (freeways for speed--back roads for fun). But we also like to fly & rent a car if we're in a hurry to do some serious relaxing. It depends on what you're after. Since it's your honeymoon, I know part of what you're after. But I digress (in front of the kids, no less). Fly & rent is certainly more expensive but it is (usually) more relaxing. What I love about road trips is seeing all the quirky little towns, finding interesting places to photograph, and the adventure of it all. But what's this about Mr. Road Rage?
Kitty, I understand that you are an intelligent, talented, and fairly mature young woman. Mom speaks VERY highly of you and is understandably proud. You're also, what, 17 and way to hot a little thing to be left unsupervised for so long (see photos of you posted elsewhere on this blog). Seventeen doesn't normally do very well when faced with temptation & absent parents. Sorry, yet again.
And yes, TC, what is on tap for date numero tres? Enquiring minds want to know.
Awww.... poor Kitty. She will not be happy with the results of this opinion poll. She might need to get her pals to weigh in on the question. She also might have chosen a less "all that" sort of pose.... maybe a manipulative pout would have been a better choice. (not!)
But now you have us pondering road trip/sky trip. Both B & I are big on weird little wayward zones connected by blue highways, love to take fotos while utilizing my specialty & favorite past time: making conversation with all the weirdos. In any case, I'll have to run numbers on which would be cheaper, given current gas prices, length of time to arrive at destination, etc. cause we got time but we ain't got no balance.
And just for the record, B is not a Road Rager.... he just thinks most other drivers are stupid (to which I concur) and it makes him crabby. Blue highways are a less stressful journey for all humankind and especially nice if the travelers don't have a schedule to keep.... unless they have to rush home to put out a house party fire.
In any case, Kitty is "calmer than you are" .... dag, yo.
Body Heat, huh...
That movie's hotter than Georgia asphalt.
Re: Road Rage.
I don't like people who constantly change speeds on the highway. I don't like people who merge onto the highway at 40 mph. I don't like people who get to the stop-sign first and then wait for you to go. I don't approve of teenage girls on cell phones who drive 90mph. I get frustrated with people who slow down when they pass on a four-lane highway (why!?!?!). Okay ... I'm done. I like to think of my issues with other drivers as passive defensive. Cars are SO dangerous -- anybody who disturbs the zen of traffic flow scares me and I steer clear. But, boy do I love to drive ...
I never had a party at my folks' house (one, though, with about ten people -- all outside). I was too aware of what would have happened had I been caught having a huge party; my parents would have been upset, but it would have just made them cry (at least my Dad - bless his heart), and I just couldn't bear that. What a good boy.
TC, your idea sounds lovely. Big trees, rugged coastline, wild surf, great wines, etc. But...
Flying will never allow you to be stopped and surrounded by thousands of sheep being herded across the open range by a couple of fabulously trained border collies and a Basque shepherd on horseback...
Flying over the sagebrush prairie doesn't let you breathe in that wonderful, fresh smell after a rainstorm...
Flying doesn't let you stop and admire the graceful talents of an experienced fly fisherman testing his skills against the trout...
Flying doesn't let you stop for an impromptu picnic of wine from the local winery, cheese from the local cheesemaker, and bread from the local bakery when you find that beautiful, moss-covered waterfall...
Now, I conceed, you may find such wonderful adventures in your rental car but we found all the above and more on our (blue) road trips. I'm with B--I love to drive...
Add to the anger-inducing idiots the ones who see your signal for a lane change and speed up so you can't execute said lane change until they pass you. Also the idiots who must pass you in order to immediately exit.
I know I'm missing a couple more...
Maybe it's just us Mangina-leaning types but I never had a party either. Also concerned for parents' feelings. Of course, like SQSD, my parents never went anywhere. I went to plenty at other people's parties and watched many of them get WAY out of control. Almost to the absurd level of Jake's party in Sixteen Candles.
me too make keyboard blunders
you guys are all totally rad and awesome, too!
I'm off for a while, too. Time for Mrs. LS to come home. Must see to dinner...
yo, yo, miss kitty ! i say you have the blow-out bash YEAH be bold, be brash, brassy, sassy, even trashy....cuz, see, this anthropological subject from up under the big trees ain't no "aunt mary" (not like she idn't chill) but its all about love, right? so, we'ed be thankin the house gods&goddesses by shining her up like nuthin' ever even happened, 'cept some huge-O fun...THEN we be, you and me and maybe guyhenry 3 trippin' to the WEST all the way to the LEFT coast. shelter cove and ocean cove and timber cove... wen, you just relax, guy and me and a whole lotta other wierdos on the lip of it will turn her on to what its like, you dig? AND, tc isn't entirely accurate when she says you can't smoke anywhere -- you can't smoke TOBACCO anywhere, and you are EXPECTED to smoke sumthin' else EVERYWHERE! (i'll bet you're reassured now!)
I'm with Kitty on this one, the girl deserves the place to herself. As a parent you have instilled in this child a sense of right and wrong. As a teenager she has her own agenda, but at 17 she will do what she wants it is just a mater of time.
When planning the first trip for the rest of happily ever after money should not be the largest consideration. Taking off while you are still in the glow of the party that marked the beginning would be the deciding factor and that is in August. By waiting till September you are more likely to put off going at all.
I say, drive so you have time to talk and stop and spread out the overall togetherness time, it is not the destination, but the trip that matters. Rent a book or two on tape for those moments/hours when you just want to look out the window and think to yourself --- Nebraska is really really flat and boring.
Now, Kitty I am not so old that I don't remember the lines I used on my folks, try telling them that next year you're old enough to be drafted (if there was a draft), that you want to ride the roller coaster of life yourself, not stand on the ground and hear about it from your friends, and of course the one that put them over the edge --- ask your mom how to get to the nearst planned parenthood location because they will give you BC without her approval.
TC, is that the same goat that gored Hal?
In reality, I'm less concerned about Kitty than I am about the less-sensible kids who might find out W & B aren't around.
Finally, I most whole-heartedly agree with the wise and beautiful Jean Cedar that it's about the journey, not the destination.
YEAH, BABY!!!! Oh bee-haave!
It's about the input of ideas, not the punctuation.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Buggy checks in!
And to answer your question about your teenage responsibility, Bob, you are correct; you explained everything to the sheriff quite well.
just for the record.... my kids have both been off leash their entire lives. they love freedom and have never (or very rarely and never critically) challenged the wide margins i've set. they don't want trouble because trouble isn't fun.
i think Kitty will be fine at home on her own and i know what she's talking about when she says she wants to live like an adult homeowner. she knows how to keep the safety net tight too. in Kitty we trust. temptation doesn't really weigh in either.... she and her tight posse are good at tossing out the undesireables should they get wind of it all which is highly doubtful.
i'd give quite a bit to go back there.... with her brains and savvy savvy. besides, her new grandparents will be just down the road in case of disaster.
love my girls. such neutron bombs with no interest in self destruction.
:-)
It's amazing to me how well kids do when you lay out some boundries and then give them the freedom to explore and experience life for themselves. In a sense, the less controlling you are the more control you retain--it's a very Zen kind of thing. We gave our kids a lot of freedom too and people often comment on how adventurous, secure, and open they are. Both kids told us often that their friends thought we were the "cool" parents. Perhaps because we let them hang out at our house and on the weekends we let them have a beer or some wine. Our only stipulation was that if they drank anything, they stayed the night. We also listened to their music, watched their movie picks, took time to get to know them, laughed with them, and went to their events. Bottom line, they never really abused our trust.
They do still owe us a bottle of Absolut though....
Ouch! That's gotta hurt like hell.
Beer makes good pain killer. Nice that you can beer break at work--it's good when you're the owner.
Yeah, I'm self-employed, too. It has it's upside. But I've got way too much time to spend blogging lately. We moved to Texas from Minnesota at the end of August for my wife's job. I'm still trying to build enough clientelle to keep me busy & earning some dinero. It's finally starting to come around.
I'm a photographer. That's how I met Wendy. We got to know each other working freelance for Dayton's/Marshall Field's over the past 5-6 years. And then I started listening to her music & going to her shows. It was kind of funny when I learned she was a musician because a mutual friend had actually introduced me to Wendy's Rhea Valentine stuff a few years before we met. I didn't immediately put 2 & 2 together.
Anyway, that's my connection.
good hunting
everyone relax. you guys go on your honeymoon in august. we can have fundraisers to make up for the extra cost of traveling during "peek" season--you know, carwashes...fun stuff like that. i can come down and be the party coordinator, i mean, chaperon.
Lone Star
Leave the Vodka alone --- you don't even drink the vodka. The kid needed to PARTYYYYYYY, lost his job and can't purchase any more vodka for you or anyone else.
All I have to go now and purchase some Vodka, my kid is coming to town and I wouldn't want you all to miss out on how LS misses the Vodka he doesn't' drink.
Let's go to 60
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