Pre-Party Summit Brewery Tour

There was surely a beer theme to the party -- we toured the Summit Brewery in St. Paul before the big party; Mike Lundell is a brewer there. As Steve Price explained to me, Mike's the guy who presses the "Make Beer" button.

Golf Cart + Blender Drinks = Good Times(!!!!!!!)

This pretty much sums it up (Mike "Zeke" Lundell, Mark "For me?" Dalton, and Brent "Downtown Teeth" Sigmeth)

But, while I'm here, I have to relay a beautiful story told to me by Scott Andre tonight (silent witness):

Apparently, Bob "Never-Ever" Fales was wandering around later in the evening and Scott happened to hear him muttering to himself, "Hmmmm, wonder if I'm too drunk to drive this golf cart ..." after which he mounted the golf cart, grabbed the steering apparatus, hit the gas pedal, and careened straight into a tree -- BAMMM -- and then Bob was heard to simply say matter-of-factly, "I guess I answered my own question ..."

Wish I would have seen that one ...

Below is a depiction of what happens to the human tongue when a human ingests the "Blue Meanie 2005", a blender drink consisting of Vodka or Rum, ice, and some Blue Curacao (Curacau?) ... (MODEL: Mike "Zeke" Lundell). The "2005" is a drink based on the classic Blue Meanie created circa 1988 consisting of rum and raspberry cool-aid.

How To Throw a Bachelor Party/Farm Reunion

Well .... hmmmmm ... where do I start? I guess we start with Bob Fales' truck and trailer bound for the Navigator Bachelor Party. Five coolers. One home-made grill. Steaks, Brats, and home-made venison sausage for 18 people. 4 cases of Beer. 80 pounds of ice. 4 Lawn chairs. 3 Tents. 4 Tiki torches. One portable deep-fryer. Camping cookware. 4 dozen eggs. Piles of bacon. A 300 watt PA system. iPods. Video camera. Digital camera. Home-made navigational signs with spray-painted arrows. Chainsaw. Swimming trunks. Soap. Cell phone charger. Steak knives. Eye-drops. 2 propane tanks. Saw horse table. Folding table. Small portable grill. River shoes. Allergy medicine. Bug spray. Sunglasses. Inflatable mattress. Pillow.


What am I forgetting?

Too much happens during a three-day party blow-out to describe. There were only a few injuries; Mike Lundell pulled his hamstring pretty bad trying to get the golf-cart off a log deep in the woods, Jerry Anderson almost seperated his shoulder in a bean-bag throwing mishap "I was too drunk and [silly] to stand up ... and that's how I got hurt," said Jerry ... many cut their feet on rocks by the shore in the dark, and Bryan Hanna's audio engineering career was nearly ruined by a barrage of bottle-rockets. Jason Griggs won the "get the bottle-rocket into Fales' truck window" contest while listening to the Sanford & Son theme song. Mark Dalton gets the "Best Male Stripper at a Heterosexual Bachelor Party" award. Dan Johnson gets the "Bachelor Party Wisdom" award for admitting that "forgetting the forks at a BBQ is alot worse than forgetting the chopsticks". Rev. Boyce gets the honorary "Clint Eastwood HANG 'EM HIGH Quick-Draw Bean-Bag Toss" Award. Scott Andre gets the "Still Sober Enough to Remember that Somebody Should Take Photos, will you get me a beer?" award. Mike Lundell walks away limping with the "Brewery & Off-Road Golf Cart Tour Guide" award. Bob Fales walks away with his own show on the Discovery Channel called simply "Bob 'Never-Ever' Fales". Chad Nelson gets the "I'm Pissed at My Damn Tent/Good Sport!" award and he also came through with the "Oldest Whiskey - 18-Year Jameson" award. Matt Craig placed with the "I Found Bryan's Glasses in the River With My Foot at 2am" award. Steve Price hoists the "I Brought 2 Jugs of Fresh Coffee in the Morning" award, and also the "Look at this Jew Go Apeshit for the Bacon" award. Matt Mulhern grabs the "I Drank a Ton of Beer and Didn't Tip Over" award. Chuck Hoffman runs away with the "Law Enforcement Liason/Helpin' G.R. Anderson get His Damn Tent Up" award. Craig Dalton wins the "Eating Steak with my Fingers? No problem!" award. AND, lastly, I walk away with the "I'm the Luckiest Guy in the Whole Wide World" award!!

Quotables:
"I'm a medium, not a mystic ..." - G.R. Anderson, Jr.
"What's a meadowphor?" - Jason Griggs
"Steak, eggs, onions ... hmmmm" - Bob Fales
"Did I think Butt-touch, or did I say it outloud?" - Rev. Boyce Johnson
"Walk it off, Lundell ..." - Mark Dalton
"Hey, some of us use our ears to make money!" - Bryan Hanna
"What?!?!? You want me to barf on you?" - Chad Nelson
"Where's da cheeze at? I don't know!" - Mike Lundell
"It's a BOY!!!" - Bryan Hanna reacting to G.R. Anderson crawling out of his tent naked in the morning.
"Blood is thicker than beer" - unknown. Boyce? Griggs? Me?

Thanks for a legitimate All-Time Top-Five Lifetime Fun-Achievement Weekend, fellas ... special thanks to Bob Fales (my Best Dude) and the Daltons for use of their property (not to mention getting those awesome shirts printed up, Mark!)

July 4th Eve

July 4th Eve
Posted by: wendylewis.

Brent does his best Zoolander.
Hannah Jensen, photographer

The Hairy Toddlers

The Hairy Toddlers
Posted by: wendylewis.

From left to right.... King size, Family size & Fun size.

Franz and his Baby Cousin

Franz and his Baby Cousin
Posted by: wendylewis.

Meet Fonz the Master Gastler

Meet Fonz the Master Gastler
Posted by: wendylewis.

Well, here is Hannah's Dude, Franz. I call him The Master Gastler. B calls him Fonz. He's all that and more. He understands the subtle, dated cheesieness of air quotes, is understated in his humor, isn't afraid of river water, can hold forth on politics and other factoids, is already an expert at giving Hannah shit, and ... he can shoot a gun with the best of us .... as well as knowing how to place a little pink shoe carefully on the foot of Barbie. That's a longer story you can ask him at the nuptial festivities. Rumor has it, he'll be here.

We like to brag about his having achieved a masters from B.U. and Harvard at the ripe young age of 24, but he doesn't need to. He's humble by nature but confident, soft-spoken but social. He doesn't need to be coddled or taken care of. He's his own guy. And I also think he likes to party. Kitty likes that he doesn't treat her like "the little sister" by ignoring her.

We like him. Indeed we do. Come over any time, Fonz MG, with or without Hannah.

A Cake Challenge

A Cake Challenge
Posted by: wendylewis.

OK. The heat is on. Karen Kopacz, one of the Cake Contest bakers for the wedding day has put Randy Kramer in a floury head lock ... I guess she thinks he won't be able to touch her prowess in the kitchen. Will Randy shrink in fear and run from the oven? Will he raise his flour sifter and spatula in defiance? Will he sue Karen for baking slander?

Stay tuned. This could be rough.....

After the Trip

After the Trip
Posted by: wendylewis.

The Tuesday after the July 4th weekend, I squeezed Kitty in the driveway and watched her wind away from home on a week long road trip towards northern California with four of her best pals; Amy, Nathan, Tom & Jenn. Later that afternoon, I squeezed Hannah and put her on a plane for a workshop in Chicago. I got a call from Hannah when she landed at Midway Airport and we navigated her into a flat rate cab to her hotel. I got a call from Kitty that evening, "Mom!! We're in the Badlands... it's SO BEAUTIFUL..." and another the following evening as she crossed the Golden Gate Bridge. Then, I got a call from Hannah as she arrived at the bus station in Chicago & was interviewed by Spanish TV (re: travel on the day bombs went off in the Underground in London) and again when she left the bus station in Madison. We chatted while she walked the three blocks home at 1AM dragging her orange wheeled suitcase behind her.

A week later, I came home from work on Wednesday afternoon, passing Kitty & Krew on the road heading away from home again. They had returned home late Tuesday night, exhausted & inspired. I kissed her and went to bed -- inspired and relieved. The note on the porch table said they were heading to the Electric Fetus in the city.... obviously unable to stay out of the car after their adventure. They had cleaned out the car before leaving.... and this is what was left from the road trip.

Bitties in the WB Lounge

Biddies in the WB Lounge
Posted by: wendylewis.

Hannah was home for the holiday weekend. She and Kitty are shown partying in Dr. Chair. It was all about that De la Soul song (Mike, you know da one) and were all that.

Hannah's pal Franz was around for the weekend, so at noon on July 4th, we piled in the '67 Buick convertible and drove the parade down mainstreet. Kitty was riding in the Scofield Pharmacy Truck passing out candy to the kids.

Franz was a good sport.... acclimating well to our kooky evening which went from porch antics to sparklers to bottle rockets and finally .... firearms. It was time to give that pre-WWII rifle my dad gave B for Xmas a workout. We love freedom. Right?

I'm Tellin' Ya ... It's All About the Stripes!

Nephew Curious About Rock

Mitchell (one year old in May) had his first taste of live rock last night at the "Cruiser Dance" in Cannon Falls. He stood motionless, staring at this rocker-dude for a good four minutes or so. The dance followed a "cruise" put on by the Cannon Cruisers Car Club (of which my Dad and I are members -- though, I don't think I've ever paid any dues - whoops!). Mitchell also has a fondness for cars (or any moving vehicle). The photo below is of Mitchell dreaming of burning rubber in the 1967 Buick GS400 convertible that we've had since 1982 or so. After wendy and my Daddy-O cut a rug to some song like "At the Hop", Wendy and I joined Bob Fales and Josh Miller (According to Josh, he's Chuck's number one ace employee at Viking Electric) downtown at The Cannon Falls Bears baseball game. I would put Josh firmly in the "extremely funny" category. They beat the Dundas Dukes 7-6. It was a fine evening.